First, I spent the better part of last week refining the ogdoad poesy, which is supposed to be a magix script based on chess pieces, but anyone who wants to can use it for representing the phonics of real words in established languages for mundane means…even though I curse myself for how clunky I made it, and wouldn’t personally use ogdoad for such a purpose. At least in the context of spellcasting, “clunky” can mean “opportunity to concentrate on imbuing meaning.” Mundanely: “I already know what I mean to say. Why did I make this so difficult?”

Second, related to the first, I tried to use it the ogdoad for magix and realized that I’m still lacking a way to, essentially, systemize glossolalia. The sounds or symbols involved would be determined by the traits of each piece as well as the moves that could be made: castling a king, queening a pawn, en passant capture, or capture of any piece by any piece…I should put in a symbol for “to capture” or to differentiate a desire for internal effect versus effect upon the external (or “opposite playing side”).

Third, unrelated to the first and second, The Pagan Experience blog prompt for February is humanity and earth, which I think can combine well into a post about Changelings and Earthlings. That would actually make a rocking band name. I cannot word the other thoughts I have about those right now, maybe not for the rest of the month.

Fourth, I believe that I can be, and am, both a changeling and an earthling. But mostly I’m a gruelling as in turned into gruel from trying to figure out how to organize the papers for this new job for a tax audit, and trying to figure out why I keep messing up the daily collections reports when I’m already being as careful as I can but I keep missing the obvious and important details…and I consider myself a fan of organizing data so why can I not do this?

Fifth, my immediate superior invited me to join a yoga class, considering that is the service we provide, and might help me with not being so scatterbrained.

The following content may contain triggering material.

Auntie V joined the class, too, and Rafflesia Who I Hallucinate When I’m Distressed To Defray Emotional Costs did not make an appearance. Progress!

Rafflesia has actually be quiet since the last time Auntie V came over and I initiated an interaction out of the necessity of professionally passing on a package that had been left at the desk that I manage. That was less like getting mauled by an insectoid clockwork dragon, and more like an encounter with Night Vale Radio management. So, we were already improving.

Or, that last bit is what I would say if last night Auntie V hadn’t sidled on over to our instructor/colleague/supervisor and they both started muttering. I caught Auntie V’s, “…is she here in class?” while I was trying to do the Adho Mukha Svanasana but was really doing the Look Upside Down Between My Knees At The People Standing Behind Me and Yep, They’re Both Looking Right At Me And Referring To A She, This Is Not Awkward, I’m Going To Sprain A Tendon If I Stay This Way.

While I didn’t catch the rest of the conversation, I can only imagine that Auntie V still felt entitled to complain about how inconvenient and uncomfortable it is that I’ve told the truth about her part in enabling my abusers to break me down so badly that I can barely function.

But it could very well have been more like: “Why is What’s-Her-Name going all bowlegged during Adho Mukha Svanasana? That’s just silly.” “I don’t know. Let’s go back to the topic that you actually approached me to talk about.”

Then I figured that I should have done some stretches more basic than basic, so, once that set was done, I did some ballet and tai chi. I’m sure I did them all terribly because it’s been years and our instructor wasn’t here for that, but I was feeling it. It occurred to me later that it might have defeated the true purpose.